Remembering BK (part 1)

Below is a post I wrote about two years ago, on another blog of mine.

July 1 notes July 2, 2006

Happy Canada Day.

But, not so much. I’ve thought of Canada a little bit, but my mind has been focused elsewhere this week, with the news of the passing away of one of my teammates on my hockey team, Bryan Klein.

While I played with Bryan for almost three seasons – amounting to about a year – our relationship was limited to the rink. We were friendly, of course, but we never really had a deep friendship. Much of what I knew of him came from word of mouth. The news of his tragic death was quite a shock. I found out last Thursday, and found it hard to think of much else on Friday. I spent much of the day in a mental haze, thinking about him and my relationship with him. In some ways, it surprised me that I was that affected, but perhaps it’s also not that surprising at the same time, given how much time we spent together playing hockey week after week.

I have to be brutally honest, and say that at some level, I think I resented him. He was a great hockey player and a leader on our team. But, I never felt like I could get any respect or acknowledgement from him about my game. Granted, I’m not a very good player, but sometimes I hoped to get some compliment or appreciation of a good effort from him, and I rarely got it.

Perhaps he didn’t think I needed it, or he just didn’t see anything to appreciate in my hockey playing. Maybe I was just insecure. It’s interesting though, that I only felt that way about him. I don’t even ever think much about how my other teammates feel about my abilities (or lack thereof). Perhaps I held that resentment, because on a deeper level, I respected him and I was probably looking for some sign that he respected me too.

All this doesn’t seem to matter now.

Rest in peace, Bryan. I hope you’ve finally found the solace and comfort that life could not give you.

More later…

Singh10.